


Red Makes You Blue

by TheCrazyMasterless



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternia, Canonical Ages for the Revenge Cycle (they were way younger than you may have thought), F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Revenge Cycle, Thoughts on Revenge, inner monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 03:51:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8952664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrazyMasterless/pseuds/TheCrazyMasterless
Summary: Feelings are pretty awful, when the entire world, your past, all sense of loyalty and pale pity, and the troll you're flushed for are trying to kill them.
The feelings don't die, but you're pretty sure you do.





	

Red Makes You Blue

 

You hated her so fucking much.

The ridiculous, hollow confidence that absolutely no one bought. How many times she seemed to feel the need to flip her _goddamn hair_. How god shittingly _delusional_ she was.

Your bloodpusher flushed. You wanted to kiss her and cry for what you'd lost. For the only good part of you that died that night. For Ara-you can't even think the name right now ( _a drink first_ ). For what could have been if she hadn't been so _stupid_.

You wanted to cry and you wanted her to be right there with you because as much as you wanted to think she was just an irredeemable psychopath, she'd lost her moirail then _too_. Because when you looked at the events as they transpired, you could understand everything she did ( _how_ badly _did she damage my think sponge that night_??).

Tavros wouldn't have made it on Alternia; he'd have been culled even if she hadn't walked him off a cliff, it was just a matter of time. Her training was sadistic and wrong footed, but it made _sense_ (you know, in the same way _everything_ in the Empire "makes sense").

It had taken you a long time to come to a place where you could evaluate Aradia's actions somewhat reasonably. She had said she wouldn't get revenge, she had _promised_. She tried it anyway.

Honestly, it was all too likely that she'd been coerced into it by those creepy voices in her head. And honestly, Aradia wouldn't have let Vriska go until she was insane or dead.

You still couldn't forgive though. It didn't matter how justified the action, a sacrifice only means something if there's pain. It can't be brushed aside by doing a fucking _cost_ / _benefit_ _analysis_.

She'd made a choice between her own sanity and life and yours and _hers_ and she chose to save herself. It only makes sense. It was the only thing she could have reasonably done.

Fuck sense. Fuck everything. You need another drink.

And then by that point you were willing to do anything, perhaps just like Aradia was. TZ contacted you within the hour and asked for your help. Which didn't help.

In addition to losing a good portion of her friends, she lost and arm and seven of her eyes, Terezi was blind, and you tried to kill yourself shortly thereafter (only TZ coming to check up on you saved you. You were _sort_ of grateful and sort of wanted to hate her too).

It was hard to hate a 4 sweep old for following the examples they were given. You still wanted to try. Anything to stop the red, burning heat you felt whenever you rolled her name over your tongue.

_Vriska_.

Because there was no moving past this, not together. There simply wasn't enough time in the universe for these wounds to heal.

You couldn't even fucking _look_ at her; you felt fucking sick thinking about everything she _fucked up_. Even things she couldn't have known about. All the possibilities: wasted.

The more you thought about it, the more you thought yourself a monster for blaming a wriggler for only doing what she'd be indoctrinated and _enslaved_ to do. Yet that instinctual fear of her wouldn't vanish. You knew what it felt like to have her crawling around the most intimate parts of yourself.

You were musing on all of this, floating a slightly more comfortable distance from your emotions due to your intoxication, when you turned to your drinking partner and said,

"Hey TZ. Let's overthrow the Empire."


End file.
